FYI: This Is The Summer We Begged For All Winter

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FYI: Our {semi-local} Target was setting up their “Back to School” area when I was there yesterday. August is coming quick!  Don’t let your summer slip away.  Be intentional about having fun!  We’ve been to the beach (with friends) twice this week, even though I’m pms-ing, even though it’s a 30 min. drive, even though the thought of taking 3 kids the beach nearly stress paralyzed me, even though we have other things on the calendar in the same day, etc, etc…BUT YA KNOW WHAT?  We’ve had a blast!  Summer will end, ‘even though’ you don’t want it to.  So get out and enjoy life.

Moments From the Minivan: Tumbling Camp

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Back story: My 6 yr old is in a stage where he is afraid of so many things.  I’ve never met a kid so cautious.  Once we took him to T-ball, at his request.  He panicked, threw himself down on the ball field {in front of God and everyone}, screamed and cried that he wanted a *new* family and he hated us for making him join a team sport, because if we really knew him we would know he can’t play sports! Later he admitted he just wanted the team t-shirt, but didn’t actually want to play.
SO THIS IS HUGE!  I took my big kids to tumbling camp for the first time tonight.. I knew my girl would love it, but I was sure I was just making a donation towards the cause for my boy, because he wouldn’t probably participate anyway. My boy gets in the van afterwards, full of smiles and says “Mom! I WANT to go there for 10 days!” 10 days is a big deal to a six year old.
My heart is so happy.  My daughter says this is a dream come true to finally get to tumble and my boy has found something he isn’t afraid of!
This day ROCKS! Thank you Jesus!

Slowing Down, Seeing More

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It started early last week.  I told God I felt like I was drowning in my tasks and I couldn’t take anymore.  Life wasn’t enjoyable in that moment.  My calendar was full and my to-do list was far too long.  I told him things needed to slow down.  I was in pain, too busy, and needed a break.  Then I followed it up with, but please don’t let anyone get sick, I’ve got too much work to do!
The next day… My little girl got a fever!  I was furious.  I really have no time for this, I told God.  It turned into being a bigger illness than I thought and I was forced to slow down.
Through this I felt guilty for not being able to keep up.  I was falling behind and missing out on fun from having a sore back (roller skating incident that landed me on my tailbone). now I couldn’t just keep going because my baby needed me.
After a few days the weight was lifted and God opened my eyes to what he wanted me to see.

I’ve put pleasing everyone else first.  Everyone except my little family.

This past week I’ve actually had time to enjoy life, even though it first seemed like a curse, and definitely has been tough taking care of a sick kiddo.

I’ve seen more.  I’ve taken more in than I usually do.  My kids are happier having mommy here to play with them, vs just being here and working on my projects in the background of their playing.  My husband feels more validated when I can actually take a few minutes to look at him while we talk, rather than carrying on a conversation from another room while I get things done.

Everything is just better when you are forced to slow down.

It’s my goal to realize sooner when I’m taking on too much.  To say no, without guilt {I’ll learn}.  Just because I can do something, doesn’t mean I have to {I’ve always felt the opposite, but I’m learning differently}.  With too many obligations I can’t do any of them very well & that’s not good for anyone.
Here are some pictures of this last week:

 

In The Kitchen: Living Salad Bowl

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Having a living salad bowl on my deck is just about my favorite thing right now.  It makes lunch time so easy!  It’s also a great way to add simple veggies to dinner.  My biggest high comes from seeing my picky eater snacking on it while he plays outside.
In each pot I planted:
Green leaf lettuce
Red leaf lettuce
Baby spinach
Green onions
I have another pot with basil (yummmmm) it has a plant in the center and seeds scattered around the rest that will hopefully grow soon.
After years of wanting to grow my own lettuce, I’m so glad I finally did it!

A Letter to my Children… & You

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Written for my children, for when they are older and will understand it more.  But maybe you {my dear readers} could use this right now, too? I know I would benefit from these words being spoken to me daily.

My Dear Children,
I pray you are clinging tightly to Jesus.  Be ready. Be ready for whatever comes your way, whether you think it to be good or worry it may cause strife.
I want you to be BOLD in your conversations and in your actions. You can be bold, kindly.
Act as Jesus would.

Soften your hearts.  Drop your guard, & be genuine.  Yes, please, please be genuine.  And forgiving.
Don’t be afraid of a disappointment.  Do and say the things God lays on your heart so you have no regret over the things you left undone.
Time will run out.  You don’t have forever to do it all.  Your life on Earth will end. Make the time for the things that matter.  Quit hiding behind excuses that are inflicted by your insecurities.
They say people will forget what you’ve said but remember how you made them feel.  I hope you never forget the feeling of being absolutely positively loved by me, your momma.
I want you to be aware that in this life some people will work to twist your words and hurt you.  Please, when you can, stray from them.  Just stray.
Make your mark on the world & shine brightly.
Take time to heal your soul.  It needs refreshing more often than you’d think.
Take time to address any internal problems you feel arise.
Always be ready to move on.
It isn’t guaranteed that you will get a warning for when your time comes to meet our Heavenly Father, so just be ready.
Never forget to work in face to face conversations. I don’t care how easy social media is when you are older, it’s not the same as human contact.  Use it as a tool, do not let it distract you.
I want you to know how to play at least one tune on either guitar or piano.  Never turn down an opportunity to perform.
Smile, please?
When you meet “the one” never forget that they are the ONE. I believe we each only get one shot at marriage. Pray often for your spouse. Don’t be afraid to ask them to pray for you, be specific.  Love them fully and passionately.
Wherever there is bad, there is also GOOD.  Seek it out.
Regularly step out of your comfort zone and see how much you’ll grow.
Make time for fun!
When you need spiritual help, get it.  If you need counseling, get it. Never be ashamed to ask for help.
Don’t go this life alone.  Keep Jesus in your heart and goodness on your mind.
I.Love.You.
Momma

On Mother’s Day

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Hey, can we talk?  I know it’s Mother’s Day. How are you feeling about that? Be honest.
I hope no matter what your answer comes out like, I pray you are content. I know that may not be the case though.
Being a mom looks different to each of us.  Some of us came by it young, others later in life.  Some are going it alone, others with help. Some through pregnancy and birth, some by adoption, others may have a more painful story to tell. Even more may still waiting and wishing to become a mother.  {To you I say, be faithful to the Lord.  Your strength will rise as you wait for His perfect timing}.
No matter your story, own it.  It’s yours.

If you aren’t feeling so great about this day, for a materialistic reason, like:

  • The gifts weren’t your first choice, or maybe never arrived. Despite your obvious hints!
  • The kids keep fighting.
  • You’re spending the day with your in-laws & that was the one thing you requested NOT to do.
  • No one is helping with anything.
  • You’re cooking for yourself and everyone else when YOU want to be the one to be waited on.
  • Fill in the blank_______________________.
Whatever, okay.  I get it, I do.  It stinks to not get your way.  I just ask that you’d actively choose joy in this day.  To me it’s not a day so much to be honored by my husband and kids, but a day to honor myself in  positive thoughts and spreading good cheer. A day to feel blessed to be a blessing to my blessings (did you follow that one??)
If you’re struggling, repeat after me:
“I will not whine today…I will not whine today… For crying outloud I’m the mom here and I said I will not whine today!”
Alright, do whatever works for you.
Now if this day is tough because you’ve got emotional hurt.  That’s another story.  There is some very real pain in miscarriage, having your child removed from your care, or waiting for a child to enter your life.  To that I want to encourage you to turn to God.  He is the only one who can fully heal your pain.  It’s worth the work of unpacking how you feel.  You’re worth it. I can’t blog something on this that would be worthy of your reading.  It’s too deep.  You need Him.  And He’s there for you, ready to purify your heavy heart and heal you so you can move on, once and for all.
Ps.  One last request, which will probably go unanswered, but I will not whine… 😉 Could you keep the social media to a minimum? Relish in the day, not the # of likes and comments a picture of your gift gets you or whatev. Be fully engaged with the real-life activities you are doing, not what is happening in the virtual world.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
One last thing.  It’s almost 1am & I’m sure this is full of typos.  If you’re new here, I’ll let you in on a secret.  I write quick and from the heart.  Days later I reread & find the mistakes.  Sometimes I fix them…sometimes I don’t.

Intentional Parenting

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Let’s talk about being intentional in our parenting. Although many great things do happen spontaneously, I believe that even greater things can happen when we are joyfully being intentional.
What are you doing to intentionally spend time with your kiddos?  I’ll go first.
Well for starters, we are recognizing “screen free week” in our house.  Notice I say recognizing, not fully
partaking.  I’d like to say I’m 100% on board, but to be honest, I’m missing out on too much!  No joke, two days off of Facebook and I feel like I don’t have a clue what is going on in real life conversations because
everyone is talking about what they read on Facebook… & I have obligations to fulfill through FB and e-mail.  So I
check my FB about once or twice a day strictly for messages or about something someone mentioned needed my attention.  That’s not anywhere near as often as I was getting online.  It’s been a good cleanse and I hope to continue in this new pattern.
This week to be intentional I’m busting out the craft supplies!  We painted {in our carpeted
dining room} twice this week!  I put my phone aside, ignored any beeps for new text messages until we were done, and just focused on my kids.  It was so much fun!  I really adored the time with my littles.  We laughed, we talked, we created.  We looked back at what we made and talked some more about our time together.  Oh it’s been so fun!
We also got outside each day.  Even if only for a short time, we were out there, and we were together.  It’s pure
joy, raising these little people.  I just can’t quite explain it, but I am as happy as can be to be their momma.

Her First Communion

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As a parent my biggest struggle and greatest joy is guiding my children in their relationship with Christ.
I want their faith to be their own, not something I force on them and they later reject because I was too overbearing.  I also don’t want to do too little now that someday when they are 23 years old (with two children of their own) they’re left embarrassed and clueless as they are sitting around a table with a bunch of Christian friends listening to references of children’s bible stories they’ve never before heard and feeling ripped off… terribly ripped off.
Or getting their oldest children baptized because it was “PAST time” according to the mom-in-law.  But this momma really didn’t have a clue what it all meant.  And was again, too embarrassed to ask.
I was lost, with nowhere to start.  I don’t blame my parents, they were facing their own struggles in this world.  And really, how do you know when you’re doing too much, or doing too little?  They probably did just what they were supposed to do, but it took me a little longer than most to “make it my own”.  Each child is so different and their needs aren’t identical, especially when it comes to their faith.
I want to give my children a firm foundation to build on.  And I’m learning more and more that I can’t do that just with bed time prayers, a little bible reading, and some intentional character building.  And I surely can’t make it a classroom style ordeal. I’ve gotta take time with each child and seek their individual heart right where they are and go from there.
Anyway, all of that just to say:
You know you’re not totally screwing up this whole parenting gig when something like this lands on your office desk.
A note from my sweet girl.
 She took this faith thing and made it her own, just as I’ve always hoped that she’d do.  My heart is stretched so big right now. So big.
I’m grateful for the village that helped my little girl reach this milestone. What ever good things you’re working on right now, keep at it!
And if you’re sitting there wishing you could have your heart stretched by a child who is making their faith their own, worry not.  This sort of thing does NOT happen over night, but over many nights.  Or like in my journey, many, many, many MANY nights. Be blessed friends.  Oh, and please, if you’re the one reading this going, HEY that sounds like me!  I’m so clueless.  JUST ASK the questions you have.  Don’t put up a front or try to act like you know. Open your lips and let honesty pour out.  More than likely you will be filled with love, grace, and new knowledge beyond anything you could imagine.
Sorry it’s a little blurry.  She taught herself how to add some color to the font.
I don’t even know how to do that!
Philippians 1:6
“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Just a Few Quick Notes

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I don’t have time to write out a full blog post but I want
to share a few quick notes I’ve taken at MOPS this year.
  • If you are a parent, you are a leader.  You will always be a leader.
  • Put verses where you can soak them in.  This is as simple as writing out a verse on a note card
    and sticking it at the kitchen sink, on the mirror, or on the door so you see it before you head out.
  • Praise First!
  • Don’t keep secrets from your spouse.  Share EVERYTHING.  There isn’t such thing as sharing too much in
    a marriage.
  • Men, although they are tough on the outside, are fragile on the inside.  Remember that, and treat them accordingly.
  • It’s okay to want good things, but not more than we want to please the Lord.

Show me the mother and I’ll show you the child quote

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Show me the mother and I'll show you the child.

At the suggestion of a friend, I just started watching Army Wives.  I really didn’t need another show to watch.

I’m good with just Parenthood.

I love the story lines, even when they make me cringe.  um, hello Julia?  What are you doing?!

I’m only a dozen-ish episodes in on Army Wives (watching on Netflix) & towards the end of one of the episodes I hear the line:

“Show me the mother and I’ll show you the child.”
O.M.GOSH
That just kept echoing in my head days after I heard it.  It made me think about how similar our children are to us.
Good and bad.
My oldest daughter is compassionate and shows great patience.
I like to think she gets those gentle traits from me.
On the other hand, my daughter says nasty things about junk food… in front of people who are eating it!  How embarrassing!   Naturally, she wouldn’t know how bad junk food was, if it weren’t for me telling her!
It’s not that I want her to think junk food is good, I believe she needs to know the truth.
I realize though, that while explaining healthy food choices to her, I have failed to teach her how to still be respectful of the dietary choices others make (and honestly, we make sometimes too).
Then I realize, maybe I too am too quick to judge.  And that is a classic example of:
“Show me the mother and I’ll show you the child.”
So as a resolution, I am going to keep letting this phrase echo through my head and use it to shape myself into a better mother.
Perhaps you’d like to do the same?

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