Celebrate Absolutely Everything

Happy 3rd Birthday, Sweet Girl

October 15, 2015 by Quin Leave a Comment

Sweet Girl,

Tonight I am going to put you to bed as a 2 year old. When you wake up (I’m guessing at about 3:30am, and again at 6:30am), you will officially be a 3 year old. Man, just when you got the hang of admitting you were 2, and not 15 when people asked, you’ve got another age to remember!

This birthday stuff doesn’t mean much to you, other than you want everyone to sing to you. But hey, that’s nothing new. Who doesn’t like being serenaded, am I right?

You are a firecracker. Over the past 3 years, your dad has worn out the term “she broke the mold”.

You really did, baby girl. You are SO different than your brother and sister, and that’s okay! We celebrate that about you!
You are so much more independent than your older siblings were at your age. I attribute that to you knowing
they are there for you, and trusting that you can always fall back on them. You feel secure.

Being your momma is pure joy.

I so admire you and appreciate your high energy and spunk.

Your favorite color is purple; I’m sure because you and your daddy are BIG Minnesota Vikings fans.

You love raisins in every form. When you eat a bowl of raisin bran, you pick out the raisins with your tiny little fingers,
drink the milk, and hand me a bowl of soggy bran flakes. every.single.time.

You ask for applesauce about a hundred or so times a week. You prefer applesauce pouches, or a bowl of applesauce with a sprinkle of cinnamon on top. I like it that way too.

I joke that SUGAR is your Love Language. If it is, your grandpa Phil has got to be your favorite, because he has spoiled you with cupcakes and Tropical Sno every Thursday through the summer.

When I asked you what you wanted to be when you grow up, you replied “A Grown-up with healthy bones!” It was cute, but I quickly began to tear up, thinking of your sweet little heart and how hard it has to work to keep up because of your heart defect. I am so thankful for each day we get with you, and I have no doubt you will have healthy bones and live to be 100!

You tell total strangers that you are going to go to Heaven when you die. You are excited to meet Jesus. For the past two weeks you’ve been excitedly asking “Is Jesus coming soon?” I’ll be honest, that freaks me out, but I am SO glad that you know Jesus and have a passion to meet Him! I think the world of your curiosity and through you I have finally understood the term “faith like a child”. You believe with all your heart and that is truly beautiful.

Everyone raves about your blonde curls. I am still learning how to brush your beautiful hair and style. I’m sorry. When you are older and look back at your childhood pictures, just know that I tried, okay? You insist on wearing a bow, but often pull it out when we get in the van.

Your big brother loves to read to you, and you LOVE being read to. You want to “do school” like the big kids and
have really began to sit well at the table and soak up so much information that we’re talking about. I am certainly you’ll be ready for some official preschool lessons very soon!

Your big sister has a blast dressing you up in elaborate layers and accessorizing your outfits. She is The Fashionista, and she’s training you well! She loves putting pretty things in your hair, and even putting lip balm on your lips! You have her wrapped around your finger! You love when you get to hang out in her room and play with her girly Legos.

I am proud of the spunky girl that you are, because you remind me so much of ME! You stand up for yourself, you pave your own path, and you are fierce! You light up a room with your charm and bright blue eyes. YOU are happy, you are healthy, you are loved.

You’ve got it all, girl.

Love,

Momma

My Heart Today: The Orphans

October 4, 2015 by Quin Leave a Comment

Photo Courtesy of Courtney Lorenz Photography.

My family and I drove home from church today in our Town and Country van. We bought it new, had it custom-fit for our family, and delivered to the same dealership where we had bought our last minivan, just a couple years before that.

When we got home the kids got their top of the line Razor scooters out and rode around our driveway in front of our 3 stall garage.

I was a little worried about our youngest getting stains or scuffs on her new jeans since I just took the tags off of them this morning.

They’re kind of tight, but I don’t want to mess with returning them, so I think she’ll wear them for a few weeks and we’ll pass them on to someone else. We aren’t hard-pressed for clothing right now.

My husband took off his pressed button-up collared shirt and changed into an American Eagle sweatshirt and stood on the plush carpeted floor for our living room with his nearly new Nike tennis shoes.

From there he turned on our 50 inch LED TV, that we also bought brand new, and sat down to watch some football.

I came out to start typing some thoughts that were on my mind after the sermon this morning, and our oldest daughter is now happily doing a craft at the kitchen island.

Soon I’m going to join her and we are going to decorate our pumpkins we picked up on a fun family outing to a pumpkin patch yesterday.

Our middle son has a friend over and they’re playing with Legos. I cringe at the thought of how many hundreds of dollars worth of Legos we have floating around this 10-year-old house that we designed ourselves. What a difference it would make if even HALF that money was put towards feeding the hungry.

My point here is this: Gosh our life is good and while ordinary, or common, it really really quite luxurious. And I’m pretty sure we’re considered middle class. There are people that have it even “better” than we do in terms of material items.

Now I promise you it hasn’t always been this good; we have had struggles in our marriage, in a custody battle, in finances, etc.

But those struggles I’m telling you about, even though they were tough to endure, and seemed nearly impossible at the time were just that, ‘for a time’.

“First Word Problems” is how I’d hashtag all that stuff.

I am heartsick for orphans. I have had sympathizing tears streaming down my face all morning wondering how on earth I can help these children in need. I’ve prayed for these children for years, but now I want to use my own two hands to care for them.

I can prove that I can fiercely love a child I didn’t birth, because I’ve been doing it since our oldest was just a year old (through step-parent adoption, and Christ’s Love). I even fiercely love her birth momma and pray for her on the regular, but that situation is tougher than I can articulate through a blog post (maybe someday).

Never mind the fact that I know in my heart I love all children I meet, even the random children that play with my kids at the park for an afternoon, or the neighbor kids who stay for supper, or the kiddos who play video games in our basement.

Lord, I KNOW my heart is aching for these children who need homes, for a way to serve the poor, care for the weak and needy.

But HOW?! How God, do I do that without giving up too much of my cushy life? How do I get my family on board? Where is the community of people you talk about in the Bible? Because I’m going to need their support to do
this.

Why aren’t we ALL adopting? How do my husband and I agree to take on the tough stuff like this, when I feel like we’ve already endured so much of the tough stuff and now it’s “our turn” to just enjoy life while it is good?

Or maybe it’s time I do give up some of this cushy life. Maybe it’s time I quit pinning all the things I want in a new home on my Pinterest board and shift my focus to your sweet orphans.

Lord, can you send me some pins that teach me how to do that? I wish YOU, Lord, coud e-mail me a link to a blog post that describes my heart, and shows me a step-by-step outline of what comes next? Because God, if you don’t send it through my e-mail, there is a strong chance I may totally miss it. You see I’m fired up right now, but I know my wandering heart, it’s going to be checking Facebook and trying a new cookie recipe from the internet in less than a couple hours from now. I’m going to get a Gap or Children’s Place e-mail with a coupon code and fully take advantage of that- But what I WANT to do, is live for you. I want to care for your children, but my e-mail hasn’t shown up yet telling me how to do this.

On a day by day basis I am so focused on materialistic and earthly things. I’m so sick of it. I’m ready to live a deeper life that is beyond ME and all about YOU.

Show me how.

Moment by Moment

August 23, 2015 by Quin Leave a Comment

This morning at breakfast I met an elderly woman who mentioned she lost her adult son to a heart attack. She said she loved him and was glad for the time she had with him, even though it was so hard losing him.
Yesterday I met a woman at the park whose husband passed away a year ago. The cause? Heart attack.
I can go days, even weeks without thinking about our daughter’s heart condition. She’s such a spunky, fun, “normal” little girl.
Then there are moments like tonight when the kids are chasing each other playing duck-duck-goose. The house was full of laughter and squeals.
Then BOOM she hits the floor, lays there perfectly still… and starts panting. I scooped her up and looked at her pale face and blue lips. Her heart was racing, her eyes glazed. She was totally out of it. It probably only took a minute for her to catch up and get her color back.
My heart is still trying to catch up.
She’s fine.
We’ll be checking her all night and thanking God for each moment we’ve had, and have yet to have with her, and each of our kiddos. And with each of you.
Not every relationship or situation in my life has gone how I’d like it to, but I’m still thankful for the experience.
Don’t dwell on how you wish it went, or what you wish you had. Just choose joy and enjoy the journey, moment by moment.

An Open Letter To My Adventure Boy, As He’s Turning 8!

August 7, 2015 by Quin Leave a Comment

Dear Buddy,

Just a couple more sleeps and you’ll be 8 years old. 8! I remember when I was pregnant with you, and your daddy and I went to the gender ultrasound. When the ultrasound tech told us you were a boy, we cried tears of happiness. Then we called to tell your great grandpa, Carl (dad‘s paternal grandfather), and he cried on the phone with us. We realized in that moment, you were the only one left to carry on our last name. No pressure or anything, I mean, you weren’t even born yet!

At nearly 8 years old you are transitioning into getting more responsibility at home. You’re a great help in the garden, and you take such pride in hooking up the sprinkler on your own, and harvesting tomatoes. You’re also transitioning out of the innocence and joy of being pleased by everything. You use to squeal with delight over the sound of a train. Now you occasionally light up over it, but often times don’t. It’s okay, I mean it was totally acceptable when you were 3 to yell THOMAS!! Every time you heard a train, now it’d be slightly less amusing to us.

You love all things construction. I don’t know if this stems from growing up an a newer developing neighborhood, or if this is just really going to be your thing. The sound of skid loaders, dump trucks, and cement mixer trucks can still get you to RUN as fast as you can to the window and keep your eyes there until they’re out of sight. You’ve been doing this since you could walk, and as your momma, I find it joyful.

Oh Bud, your dad and I just love how you’re growing up. We are proud of the choices you make.

You are a good son, a good brother, and a good friend.

You are ALL boy. You are also full of compassion.

You’re great at making people laugh, especially the neighbor girls.

You have a great memory, which is why your big sis calls you “memory boy”. You never use that amazing memory to hold a grudge or get even, and I love that about you.

Your favorite color is orange, although everyone thinks it’s red, because of how much you love Lightening McQueen from the Cars movie.

Speaking of Cars movie. We’ve rented that soundtrack from the library more times than I can remember. Dad says you have great taste in music; I think he’s right.

You are an eater. Your dad and I have witnessed you go through some pretty intense growth spurts where we wondered if a shovel would’ve suited you better than a spoon for your big appetite. Through it all, you still made good choices with your food and mostly preferred bananas and “medium cold cow’s milk” over junk food.

That is unless there were Fruit Loops to be found; you love those things.

The sugar in them make you crazy; but we’re crazy about you, so you do get to have them as a rare treat.

When I asked you want you wanted for your birthday dinner your first response was “CAKE“, followed by “corn dogs“.

I can’t help but wonder how many birthdays you’ll be celebrating with corn dogs and cake? Will your future wife, who we pray for often, be filling this same request for your 35th birthday?

Your favorite animal is the polar bear. Honey, will you take your children to see the polar bears at the zoo some day? Oh I hope you do.

Sorry to be so sentimental and sappy. You see I’m just thrilled about your future because you are SUCH an amazing little boy, and this world so desperately needs amazing little boys like you to grow up into respectable men who help change this place we live in.

You have the passion and energy to do great things. You are a world changer. I just know it!

For now though, my dear boy, keep playing your favorite games: Tag and Hide & Seek. Keep singing at the top of your lungs when you’re outside on the swing set. I‘m listening, and it fills me with JOY. Enjoy your peanut butter and honey sandwiches for as long as you can.

Keep playing Legos each chance you get. I love that you build your own creations for hours on end, because I know, some day, you are going to put all that building to good use. You know how I know? Because right before your birthday, when I asked you “what do you want to be when you grow up?” you said, ‘I want to invent stuff”. I believe you will. You are so creative and your creations are innovative and impressive.

Yes, I am leaving something out, and this wouldn’t be complete without the full truth. Right now, in this stage, you are hyper. Like occasionally bouncing off the walls hyper. In public you are shy, & cautious. I pray you find the balance between the two. And if you never do, I pray God uses both sides of you to further His kingdom and better this very world through you, and your range of emotions.

You are thoughtful and sweet. You are so good to your sisters. You love reading books to your little sister, and playing board games with your big sister. You and your daddy build amazing things out of wood, and have a blast playing TracBall in the backyard.

You are the master of the backyard fire pit, and rock at burning marshmallows. 😉

I’m proud of you for buying your own bike this year.

I’m proud of you for building marshmallow shooters and selling them at our garage sale. I know it was difficult to sit still and be patient as you waited for customers. I know it was also tough to face the disappointment when not everyone was as excited about them as you were. But you did great, Bud! You really did. You kept pressing on, you did your thing, and you sold them all! Your profits you turned in for a ticket to Adventureland. You, my sweet boy, are FULL of wonder and ADVENTURE. I love you so very much.

Promise.

For Real Red Devils Food Cake

August 5, 2015 by Quin Leave a Comment

I whipped up this ‘tried and true’ recipe last week for a friend’s birthday. It was in a binder I filled with my grandma Edna’s recipes.
After the cake cooled I used a glass to cut the cake into circles and stuffed it in the bottom of a plastic cup. My hubby stepped in to help out while I made supper. He covered it in ice cream, chocolate and caramel sauces & put a straw down the center, and the kids put homemade flowers in the straws.

For Real Red Devils Food Cake
1 2/3 C. Gluten Free All-Purpose Flour, sifted
1 1/2 C. Sugar
1 1/4 tsp. Soda
1 tsp. Salt
1/3 C. Cocoa
1/2. C. Soft Butter
1 C. Milk (2/3 C. + 1/3C.)
2 Eggs
1 tsp. Vanilla

Pre-heat your oven to 350.
Grease a 9*13 pan
Sift the dry stuff together.
Add butter and 2/3C. Milk
Beat for 2 minutes
Add the rest of the milk, eggs & vanilla
Beat until well combined.
Pour into the pan.
Bake 45 minutes
MAJOR Deliciousness!!

My 29th Birthday: Part 3, Pizzazz

July 7, 2015 by Quin Leave a Comment

That 10th birthday was the best of my childhood. My birthdays didn’t improve much over the next 19 years. For the most part, I was always alone, always craving family.

I don’t know if the lack of my own birthday party pizzazz is what has been my driving force, but I love other people’s birthdays. I would throw a birthday party for a stranger. I’m not exaggerating, I really would.

I have thrown my husband and children some pretty fun birthday parties.

Yet when July rolls around, I start feeling depressed. I feel guilty taking people away from their families, and I feel guilty that spending the time with my little family hasn’t been enough to satisfy me.

This year I’ve done a lot of personal healing through a Bible Study, and spending more time than ever with
God.

Last week, just after midnight on Wednesday, I was lying in bed with my husband when we decided we’d try to throw
a birthday party for me the next day. I lined it all up through a Facebook event and didn’t call or talk to anyone about it in person unless they brought it up first. I vowed to not burden my friends with my birthday, and to be grateful no
matter what.

The results? A simple backyard birthday party with a small group of people that I love. We roasted hotdogs and marshmallows. We talked, laughed, sang and ate cake. The kids did sparklers as it got dark, and I went to bed with a smile on my face. It was wonderful. My favorite birthday of my adulthood.

Oh and you know what? My dad even showed up. It brought tears to my eyes, and reminded me that time together is the most important.

This year my birthday was less about the details of the party, and more about my heart. God has been transforming my heart into a more grateful one. One that slows, and observes. One that praises and thanks. One that desires more of HIM and less of everyone and everything else.

My 29th Birthday: Part 2, Carnival, The Roar of a Motorcycle, Fried Chicken, and a Jewelry Box

July 7, 2015 by Quin Leave a Comment

It was 4th of July weekend and I was home alone. We lived a block from the carnival, which brought in allllll sorts of people. The “carnies” parked their campers at the end of the opposite block. I was given strict warnings about keeping the doors to the house locked. Hundreds of people walked past our house that day.

Every sound I heard made me jump, or peek out the curtain with wide-eyes. I spent much of that hot July day under a blanket, because I assumed if I couldn’t see the bad guys, they couldn’t see me.

I was sitting on the couch when I heard the roar of a motorcycle pull up into the front yard.

While that sound may scare others, it brought me comfort. When I heard the loud pipes made even louder by being positioned directly outside the window, I knew MY DAD WAS HOME!

This was only Friday though; I wasn’t expecting him to be back until Sunday. And my mom wasn’t with him, so I assumed something was wrong.

My heart raced.

I ran to the door.

I squeezed him just as tight as I could.

He told me to put long pants on, we were going out for a ride.

He took me to the Barrel Drive In and gave me two gifts, which I am still using today.

The first gift was a little wooden jewelry box.

If you’ve spent any time here at all you know that I am NOT a sentimental person. So the fact that I’m still using this is
mostly just because it’s still very functional. A little banged up, yes, but very functional. Okay, and maybe it holds a small special place in my heart because the bottom
is signed by “Dad”.

The second gift, was the best of all.

It was the gift of just being there.

Just being with my dad.

Quality time together isn’t my love language, but it is my husband’s.

I remember how good it felt that day to have my dad with me. When my husband starts mentioning that we
haven’t had a lot of time together, I used to start planning extravagant dates and lining up sitters.

Sometime though my mind shifted and I remembered that quality time can be something as simple as eating fried chicken together, going for a walk, or just having an uninterrupted conversation.

Thank you, Dad, for all that you’ve not only given me, but also taught me.

Love,

Your Little Girl

My 29th Birthday: Part 1, RSVPs, Phonebook, Cigarettes, Disappointment, and a Surprise

July 6, 2015 by Quin Leave a Comment

29. I turned 29 yesterday.

When I was in 5th grade I invited every girl in my grade to my birthday party. I hand wrote invitations and my mom drove me all around town to stick the cards in each girl’s mailbox. Back then RSVP’ing was practically legally binding, and everyone did it. Guess how many RSVPs I got back??? 0. ZERO. Nada. NONE.

Still, I held out hope that some of the girls would come.

My mom said if I had gotten back any RSVPs she’d stay and help me throw a party. But since no one was coming, she was headed off to a motorcycle rally with my dad. This was their yearly get-away for just the two of them, they’d been
attending this for years.

Sometimes it fell directly on my birthday, sometimes my birthday was their recovery day.

Either way, I felt screwed.

Just to be sure I covered all my bases- I got out the big heavy black and yellow phone book, looked up the phone numbers of each girl, and called them myself.

Dial tone… The beep of each number being pressed.. The ringing… Oh the anxiety.. Then the “Hello?”

I got the same answer each time. They were sorry, but they couldn’t attend. Some even felt like they needed
to let me know it was 4th of July weekend, so they would be spending it with their family.

Bastards.

I wanted to spend the day with my family. Or their family, I didn’t really care. I just hated being alone.

When party day came my parents were out of town. I have no idea where my older brothers were, but they weren’t home. I’m guessing with friends.

I cleaned up the house, tried to gather snacks from the cupboards, and penned birthday signs out of notebook paper and taped them to the door. I did all I could to make it seem like a real PARTY.

Two girls showed up, hours after the official party time had ended, and not even because they knew it was my
birthday. They were at my house for a total of about 15 minutes. The first girl was a classmate who came because she was out wandering the town on her own (uninvolved parents?), and the second was the little neighbor girl who just came over to play. The first girl tried teaching us how to roll our own cigarettes, which was pencil shavings and that
same notebook paper that I had made into my birthday sign.

I still get flashbacks to that day when I use our electric pencil sharpener.

Although the skill seemed interesting, I knew it was wrong, wrong, wrong. I knew my parents would beat my butt (really, and it was legal back then) if they found out, so I kicked her out. She said I was stuck up, and she never liked me after that. To this day I have a strict no drugs of any kind policy.

You know what though? Now at 29, looking back, she never liked me before that, so I suppose it’s no biggie. Ugh,
why did I waste tears on that?

I’m pretty sure she’s still rolling her own cigs today, although from what I know (thanks Facebook) she’s upgraded from pencil shavings to the hard stuff. Poor girl. I really do wish I could’ve helped her.

The point is, even though that “party” sucked, I tried my best using what my 10 year old self had available. That’s important in all areas of life. Parties are not excluded. They don’t need to be big and fancy; they just need to be real.

I did get one surprise that birthday… I actually still have it. Stay tuned, I’ll take a picture and share it with you in my next blog post.

The Scare; Finding Peace

May 6, 2015 by Quin Leave a Comment

It rained all day yesterday.
My hubby took the day off of work to take me to my doctor appointment, the one for the breast exam. I told him I could’ve went on my own, but he knew better. I needed him there with me.

My mom watched the kids, and for that I’m so thankful, since it ended up being a whole day ordeal.

As we left for the doctor and made it about half a mile down the road, I remarked that it rained just like this, the morning of our wedding day.
That made me begin reminiscing all of our days together. We married young.

While I’ve been waiting to get my test and results and just embrace whatever stage I’m in, I questioned one thing.

Was I satisfied with our days together? Was he? Was I a worthy wife to this man who loves me so deeply?

I felt at peace knowing that yes, I was very satisfied with our relationship. Even though the toughest of tough days, horrible days, hopefully unlike many of you have ever had to face, I was satisfied knowing he was on my team.
I use the “leave it better than you found it rule” everywhere, even in my relationships. I don’t always succeed, but I do give it an honest effort and pray through the ones I’m struggling with.

I decided over the weekend that yes, I could leave my family now, knowing they were better than when I found them.

I heard my oldest daughter singing hymns and worship music multiple times last week. I saw my youngest (2) praying for her meals and shouting “GOD MADE ME!” to anyone who would listen. I witnessed my son, our middle child, practicing communion and mentioning that he was the man of the house when dad was at work. He prayed for selfless things that most kids his age would never think of. I felt as if they were each mature for their age and stage, and that they were doing things that would glorify God.

I was at peace.

Then I learned that my breast tissue was healthy, and that I needn’t worry.

Which means I get to keep teaching my children, my husband, myself, and everyone else about God’s good news.

I am still waiting for the results from one more test. I’m hopeful that will turn out just fine also. The doc didn’t seem concerned, so unless the test comes in and tells me otherwise, I’m claiming I’m healed, in Jesus’ holy and life giving name!

All Are Welcome

April 22, 2015 by Quin Leave a Comment

Last weekend we hosted a birthday party celebrating another year of Mr. Awesome’s life. We closed off the bedrooms, and opened up every other door in our 1500 sq. ft home. We swept the garage, moved a few things, and welcomed in over 90 of our friends, neighbors, co-workers, and family. There were even a few people we hadn’t yet met, but were delighted to serve anyway.
Yes, truly delighted.

You see we prayed for this party for weeks. We prayed hard for clear skies, so we could use our spacious backyard. That wasn’t in God’s plan. Early in the afternoon there were massive sheets of rain rolling in, and we learned we’d be hosting this party indoors. We were away at a volleyball tournament that morning and couldn’t prepare our home fully, but we trusted it would be okay. Above all we prayed for our home to be a safe gathering place for everyone to come and make connections.

This party wasn’t about us. This party was about God. It was about connecting His people.

It’s so cool to sit back and watch people from all different walks of life, and different social groups come together and converse. Some of these people we’ve known our entire lives, others we have known far less, not known extremely well, or not known at all. Regardless, they were all so kind to us, and to each other.

At one point during the party I took a breather in the bathroom, I fell to the floor and thanked God for His marvelous works in orchestrating what was happening.

As I walked around our home Saturday night listening to bits and pieces of the conversations that were happening, I was humbled and my heart was bursting with Joy. There were so many smiles, and so much laughter. There were so many good, helpful, deep conversations happening within the walls of our small ranch home, basement, and our garage. I felt a sense of Pure Joy.

I hadn’t stressed over cleaning for the party (which was evident this morning {4 days later}, as I realized the amount of things I spaced off cleaning- the piles on top of the fridge, the smears on the windows, toys & mail laying around etc.) It’s not that I’m a bad housekeeper, or a great housekeeper, it’s just that those things didn’t seem important to me at the time.

I didn’t stress over the food. We did a simple menu of Sub Sandwiches, Chips, and Cake. Our drink menu was 2
liters of soda, bottled water, and a keg of beer. All served from simple disposable dinnerware. I wasn’t sure how many
people we’d have (my ball park guess was about 30 short), but somehow the 24 feet of subs that we ordered were almost entirely devoured and we had minimal leftovers, which we were able to disperse and still have enough to enjoy two extra meals from.

From the time we decided this party needed to happen, until the time we closed the last folding table and put a clip on the final bag of chips, everything just worked out. I trusted that God would provide, and He did.

I serve a faithful, loving God who delights in seeing us open our homes to everyone, not just those who will invite us to theirs, or pay us back in some way.

What would hold you back from hosting a
gathering where All Are Truly Welcome?

Disclosure