This morning at breakfast I met an elderly woman who mentioned she lost her adult son to a heart attack.  She said she loved him and was glad for the time she had with him, even though it was so hard losing him.
Yesterday I met a woman at the park whose husband passed away a year ago.  The cause?  Heart attack.
I can go days, even weeks without thinking about our daughter’s heart condition.  She’s such a spunky, fun, “normal” little girl.
Then there are moments like tonight when the kids are chasing each other playing duck-duck-goose.  The house was full of laughter and squeals.
Then BOOM she hits the floor, lays there perfectly still… and starts panting.  I scooped her up and looked at her pale face and blue lips. Her heart was racing, her eyes glazed.  She was totally out of it.  It probably only took a minute for her to catch up and get her color back.
My heart is still trying to catch up.
She’s fine.
We’ll be checking her all night and thanking God for each moment we’ve had, and have yet to have with her, and each of our kiddos.  And with each of you.
Not every relationship or situation in my life has gone how I’d like it to, but I’m still thankful for the experience.
Don’t dwell on how you wish it went, or what you wish you had.  Just choose joy and enjoy the journey, moment by moment.

Dear Buddy,

Just a couple more sleeps and you’ll be 8 years old. 8! I remember when I was pregnant with you, and your daddy and I went to the gender ultrasound. When the ultrasound tech told us you were a boy, we cried tears of happiness. Then we called to tell your great grandpa, Carl (dad‘s paternal grandfather), and he cried on the phone with us. We realized in that moment, you were the only one left to carry on our last name. No pressure or anything, I mean, you weren’t even born yet!

At nearly 8 years old you are transitioning into getting more responsibility at home.  You’re a great help in the garden, and you take such pride in hooking up the sprinkler on your own, and harvesting tomatoes.  You’re also transitioning out of the innocence and joy of being pleased by everything. You use to squeal with delight over the sound of a train. Now you occasionally light up over it, but often times don’t. It’s okay, I mean it was totally acceptable when you were 3 to yell THOMAS!! Every time you heard a train, now it’d be slightly less amusing to us.

You love all things construction.  I don’t know if this stems from growing up an a newer developing neighborhood, or if this is just really going to be your thing.  The sound of skid loaders, dump trucks, and cement mixer trucks can still get you to RUN as fast as you can to the window and keep your eyes there until they’re out of sight.  You’ve been doing this since you could walk, and as your momma, I find it joyful.

Oh Bud, your dad and I just love how you’re growing up. We are proud of the choices you make.

You are a good son, a good brother, and a good friend.

You are ALL boy.  You are also full of compassion.

You’re great at making people laugh, especially the neighbor girls.

You have a great memory, which is why your big sis calls you “memory boy”.  You never use that amazing memory to hold a grudge or get even, and I love that about you.

Your favorite color is orange, although everyone thinks it’s red, because of how much you love Lightening McQueen from the Cars movie.

Speaking of Cars movie.  We’ve rented that soundtrack from the library more times than I can remember.  Dad says you have great taste in music; I think he’s right.

You are an eater. Your dad and I have witnessed you go through some pretty intense growth spurts where we wondered if a shovel would’ve suited you better than a spoon for your big appetite. Through it all, you still made good choices with your food and mostly preferred bananas and “medium cold cow’s milk” over junk food.

That is unless there were Fruit Loops to be found; you love those things.

The sugar in them make you crazy; but we’re crazy about you, so you do get to have them as a rare treat.

When I asked you want you wanted for your birthday dinner your first response was “CAKE“, followed by “corn dogs“.

I can’t help but wonder how many birthdays you’ll be celebrating with corn dogs and cake?  Will your future wife, who we pray for often, be filling this same request for your 35th birthday?

Your favorite animal is the polar bear. Honey, will you take your children to see the polar bears at the zoo some day? Oh I hope you do.

Sorry to be so sentimental and sappy. You see I’m just thrilled about your future because you are SUCH an amazing little boy, and this world so desperately needs amazing little boys like you to grow up into respectable men who help change this place we live in.

You have the passion and energy to do great things. You are a world changer. I just know it!

For now though, my dear boy, keep playing your favorite games: Tag and Hide & Seek. Keep singing at the top of your lungs when you’re outside on the swing set. I‘m listening, and it fills me with JOY. Enjoy your peanut butter and honey sandwiches for as long as you can.

Keep playing Legos each chance you get. I love that you build your own creations for hours on end, because I know, some day, you are going to put all that building to good use. You know how I know? Because right before your birthday, when I asked you “what do you want to be when you grow up?” you said, ‘I want to invent stuff”. I believe you will. You are so creative and your creations are innovative and impressive.

Yes, I am leaving something out, and this wouldn’t be complete without the full truth. Right now, in this stage, you are hyper. Like occasionally bouncing off the walls hyper. In public you are shy, & cautious. I pray you find the balance between the two. And if you never do, I pray God uses both sides of you to further His kingdom and better this very world through you, and your range of emotions.

You are thoughtful and sweet. You are so good to your sisters. You love reading books to your little sister, and playing board games with your big sister. You and your daddy build amazing things out of wood, and have a blast playing TracBall in the backyard.

You are the master of the backyard fire pit, and rock at burning marshmallows.  😉

I’m proud of you for buying your own bike this year.

I’m proud of you for building marshmallow shooters and selling them at our garage sale.  I know it was difficult to sit still and be patient as you waited for customers. I know it was also tough to face the disappointment when not everyone was as excited about them as you were. But you did great, Bud! You really did. You kept pressing on, you did your thing, and you sold them all! Your profits you turned in for a ticket to Adventureland. You, my sweet boy, are FULL of wonder and ADVENTURE. I love you so very much.