Encouragement – Page 3

Head Down, He Walked Away. he.was.mad.

July 15, 2014 by Quin Leave a Comment

As I was sitting on my back step, planner and pencil in hand,
I listened to the group of neighborhood children playing baseball in an adjacent yard. The breeze blew past and shooed the flies off of my sun tanned feet. I looked down at my chipped bright pink nail polish {hmm, I should touch these up. Repainting just seems like too much work right now}. Then I heard my daughter yell out in a very
compassionate tone “What’s wrong? Are you going home?” She sounded so sweet.

I looked up to see a neighbor boy walking, head down, straight towards home. He.was.mad. As I thought back a few minutes to what was going on, no one was being outwardly mean, but the other boys were making up their own rules as they went. Maybe they were actual rules, I really don’t know.

My son and his buddy (the one walking away) just wanted to play. They really weren’t that into the game, but they needed more players.

I called out to see if he was alright. He peeked in my direction for a nanosecond, then put his head back down and kept walking home.

I smiled.

I smiled because I’m proud that he doesn’t blow up in anger when things don’t go his way. But then my smile disappeared as I wondered how HE felt inside.

Sure, it’s more convenient for everyone when we just walk away. And surely it feels better than someone blowing up at us. I think there is a middle ground somewhere though. You can’t run and hide when you’re upset, and you can’t explode like a volcano.

If you live life ignoring your problems, the problems don’t really go away. They’re still there, somewhere, maybe in the back of someone’s mind, maybe in someone’s heart. Maybe still in your own?

Here’s to finding the middle ground in conflict resolution. For all little kids out on the backyard ball fields and for all us adults navigating the battlefield of daily life.

FYI: This Is The Summer We Begged For All Winter

July 10, 2014 by Quin Leave a Comment

FYI: Our {semi-local} Target was setting up their “Back to School” area when I was there yesterday. August is coming quick! Don’t let your summer slip away. Be intentional about having fun! We’ve been to the beach (with friends) twice this week, even though I’m pms-ing, even though it’s a 30 min. drive, even though the thought of taking 3 kids the beach nearly stress paralyzed me, even though we have other things on the calendar in the same day, etc, etc…BUT YA KNOW WHAT? We’ve had a blast! Summer will end, ‘even though’ you don’t want it to. So get out and enjoy life.

Reflections from my 10 yr class reunion

July 6, 2014 by Quin Leave a Comment

Thoughts the day before my class reunion:
I’m not going! But just in case I do, in the next 24hrs:
Drink water
Avoid carbs
Whiten teeth
Shave legs
Thoughts just hours before the reunion:
Crap, I ate carbs!
Could I buy one of those girdle things?
I really wasn’t cute in high school, so I’m sure no one is expecting much from me.
Thoughts minutes before waking in the door:
Suck in the tummy.
Smile. Be Happy. Do not show fear.
What if no one remembers me?
I walked by a classmate outside who completely ignored me, but in the ugly-obvious way. Like I saw you, made eye contact, and now I’m going to pretend like I don’t know you so you don’t bother me… I wanted to leave right then. I begged…My husband wouldn’t let me. Who invited him anyway? 😉 jk, I’m so glad he coaches me in awkward social situations.
Thoughts post reunion:
To the guys that were jerks in high school, and made no attempt to talk to me tonight, despite me smiling your way or actually saying hi; I hope you are sweet to your wives, instill confidence in your daughters and someday soften your hearts to the whole world.
There were a few people who went out of their way to say hi to me. I was surprised and genuinely grateful for their kindness.
My “group” from high school was there. They cracked me up all night. I’m thankful for their friendship, even after not seeing each other hardly at all for the last 10 yrs.
I’m glad I skipped the $60 girdle, because the people I would’ve worn it to impress didn’t talk to me anyway.
It’s the end of the night, my head is resting on my pillow as I finish up this post. I’m glad I went because I won’t have to wonder what it would’ve been like, or be filled with regret for staying home. But honestly, real true honesty here.. It was just okay. Good night world.

Slowing Down, Seeing More

June 25, 2014 by Quin Leave a Comment

It started early last week. I told God I felt like I was drowning in my tasks and I couldn’t take anymore. Life wasn’t enjoyable in that moment. My calendar was full and my to-do list was far too long. I told him things needed to slow down. I was in pain, too busy, and needed a break. Then I followed it up with, but please don’t let anyone get sick, I’ve got too much work to do!
The next day… My little girl got a fever! I was furious. I really have no time for this, I told God. It turned into being a bigger illness than I thought and I was forced to slow down.
Through this I felt guilty for not being able to keep up. I was falling behind and missing out on fun from having a sore back (roller skating incident that landed me on my tailbone). now I couldn’t just keep going because my baby needed me.
After a few days the weight was lifted and God opened my eyes to what he wanted me to see.

I’ve put pleasing everyone else first. Everyone except my little family.

This past week I’ve actually had time to enjoy life, even though it first seemed like a curse, and definitely has been tough taking care of a sick kiddo.

I’ve seen more. I’ve taken more in than I usually do. My kids are happier having mommy here to play with them, vs just being here and working on my projects in the background of their playing. My husband feels more validated when I can actually take a few minutes to look at him while we talk, rather than carrying on a conversation from another room while I get things done.

Everything is just better when you are forced to slow down.

It’s my goal to realize sooner when I’m taking on too much. To say no, without guilt {I’ll learn}. Just because I can do something, doesn’t mean I have to {I’ve always felt the opposite, but I’m learning differently}. With too many obligations I can’t do any of them very well & that’s not good for anyone.
Here are some pictures of this last week:

A Letter to my Children… & You

May 17, 2014 by Quin Leave a Comment

Written for my children, for when they are older and will understand it more. But maybe you {my dear readers} could use this right now, too? I know I would benefit from these words being spoken to me daily.

My Dear Children,
I pray you are clinging tightly to Jesus. Be ready. Be ready for whatever comes your way, whether you think it to be good or worry it may cause strife.
I want you to be BOLD in your conversations and in your actions. You can be bold, kindly.
Act as Jesus would.

Soften your hearts. Drop your guard, & be genuine. Yes, please, please be genuine. And forgiving.
Don’t be afraid of a disappointment. Do and say the things God lays on your heart so you have no regret over the things you left undone.
Time will run out. You don’t have forever to do it all. Your life on Earth will end. Make the time for the things that matter. Quit hiding behind excuses that are inflicted by your insecurities.
They say people will forget what you’ve said but remember how you made them feel. I hope you never forget the feeling of being absolutely positively loved by me, your momma.
I want you to be aware that in this life some people will work to twist your words and hurt you. Please, when you can, stray from them. Just stray.
Make your mark on the world & shine brightly.
Take time to heal your soul. It needs refreshing more often than you’d think.
Take time to address any internal problems you feel arise.
Always be ready to move on.
It isn’t guaranteed that you will get a warning for when your time comes to meet our Heavenly Father, so just be ready.
Never forget to work in face to face conversations. I don’t care how easy social media is when you are older, it’s not the same as human contact. Use it as a tool, do not let it distract you.
I want you to know how to play at least one tune on either guitar or piano. Never turn down an opportunity to perform.
Smile, please?
When you meet “the one” never forget that they are the ONE. I believe we each only get one shot at marriage. Pray often for your spouse. Don’t be afraid to ask them to pray for you, be specific. Love them fully and passionately.
Wherever there is bad, there is also GOOD. Seek it out.
Regularly step out of your comfort zone and see how much you’ll grow.
Make time for fun!
When you need spiritual help, get it. If you need counseling, get it. Never be ashamed to ask for help.
Don’t go this life alone. Keep Jesus in your heart and goodness on your mind.
I.Love.You.
Momma

Her First Communion

April 24, 2014 by Quin Leave a Comment

As a parent my biggest struggle and greatest joy is guiding my children in their relationship with Christ.
I want their faith to be their own, not something I force on them and they later reject because I was too overbearing. I also don’t want to do too little now that someday when they are 23 years old (with two children of their own) they’re left embarrassed and clueless as they are sitting around a table with a bunch of Christian friends listening to references of children’s bible stories they’ve never before heard and feeling ripped off… terribly ripped off.

Or getting their oldest children baptized because it was “PAST time” according to the mom-in-law. But this momma really didn’t have a clue what it all meant. And was again, too embarrassed to ask.

I was lost, with nowhere to start. I don’t blame my parents, they were facing their own struggles in this world. And really, how do you know when you’re doing too much, or doing too little? They probably did just what they were supposed to do, but it took me a little longer than most to “make it my own”. Each child is so different and their needs aren’t identical, especially when it comes to their faith.

I want to give my children a firm foundation to build on. And I’m learning more and more that I can’t do that just with bed time prayers, a little bible reading, and some intentional character building. And I surely can’t make it a classroom style ordeal. I’ve gotta take time with each child and seek their individual heart right where they are and go from there.

Anyway, all of that just to say:

You know you’re not totally screwing up this whole parenting gig when something like this lands on your office desk.

A note from my sweet girl.

She took this faith thing and made it her own, just as I’ve always hoped that she’d do. My heart is stretched so big right now. So big.
I’m grateful for the village that helped my little girl reach this milestone. What ever good things you’re working on right now, keep at it!

And if you’re sitting there wishing you could have your heart stretched by a child who is making their faith their own, worry not. This sort of thing does NOT happen over night, but over many nights. Or like in my journey, many, many, many MANY nights. Be blessed friends. Oh, and please, if you’re the one reading this going, HEY that sounds like me! I’m so clueless. JUST ASK the questions you have. Don’t put up a front or try to act like you know. Open your lips and let honesty pour out. More than likely you will be filled with love, grace, and new knowledge beyond anything you could imagine.

Sorry it’s a little blurry. She taught herself how to add some color to the font.
I don’t even know how to do that!

Philippians 1:6

“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Just a Few Quick Notes

February 27, 2014 by Quin 1 Comment

I don’t have time to write out a full blog post but I want
to share a few quick notes I’ve taken at MOPS this year.

If you are a parent, you are a leader. You will always be a leader.
Put verses where you can soak them in. This is as simple as writing out a verse on a note card
and sticking it at the kitchen sink, on the mirror, or on the door so you see it before you head out.
Praise First!
Don’t keep secrets from your spouse. Share EVERYTHING. There isn’t such thing as sharing too much in
a marriage.
Men, although they are tough on the outside, are fragile on the inside. Remember that, and treat them accordingly.
It’s okay to want good things, but not more than we want to please the Lord.

Show me the mother and I’ll show you the child quote

December 17, 2013 by Quin 2 Comments

At the suggestion of a friend, I just started watching Army Wives. I really didn’t need another show to watch.

I’m good with just Parenthood.

I love the story lines, even when they make me cringe. um, hello Julia? What are you doing?!

I’m only a dozen-ish episodes in on Army Wives (watching on Netflix) & towards the end of one of the episodes I hear the line:

“Show me the mother and I’ll show you the child.”

O.M.GOSH

That just kept echoing in my head days after I heard it. It made me think about how similar our children are to us.

Good and bad.

My oldest daughter is compassionate and shows great patience.

I like to think she gets those gentle traits from me.

On the other hand, my daughter says nasty things about junk food… in front of people who are eating it! How embarrassing! Naturally, she wouldn’t know how bad junk food was, if it weren’t for me telling her!

It’s not that I want her to think junk food is good, I believe she needs to know the truth.

I realize though, that while explaining healthy food choices to her, I have failed to teach her how to still be respectful of the dietary choices others make (and honestly, we make sometimes too).

Then I realize, maybe I too am too quick to judge. And that is a classic example of:

“Show me the mother and I’ll show you the child.”

So as a resolution, I am going to keep letting this phrase echo through my head and use it to shape myself into a better mother.

Perhaps you’d like to do the same?

Christmas Revolution

November 19, 2013 by Quin Leave a Comment

Within our little family we had a Christmas Revolution a few years ago, and it has produced a multitude of blessings. Here are a few, just off the top of my head. I know there are so many more.

Fewer toys to trip over on the floor
Less hollering at the kids to clean up those same toys- multiple times a day
Fewer dollars spent on meaningless things
So more dollars may be freely given to charities in need.
Less stress when the credit card statement comes and money is already tight from the increased heat bill during cold winter days.
Less time shopping, although it is one of my loves, shopping out of obligation is something I despise
Less time bickering over discussing what is the “perfect” gift to give to give to relatives we hardly know, because we only see less than a handful of times a year.
Christmas day is spent playing games as a family, being together, enjoying each other. It’s not spent in separate areas of the house playing with our new “things” by ourselves.
MORE TIME TO FOCUS ON JESUS. He is the reason, for the season.

My hope is that someday all of our Christmas celebrations are *truly* about Jesus. I love getting together with our families. But when it becomes about “having” to get together {and no one ever has the time, so we’re often just squeezing it in quick}, it doesn’t feel like it’s about Jesus at all. That just feels like a burden.

Please my friends, do not be burdened by Christmas. Not in a materialistic way, anyway.

My Fears Through Pregnancy, Labor, Delivery and Recovery.

February 22, 2013 by Quin Leave a Comment

Fear.
It’s been a year since I found out I was expecting our 3rd baby. We tried, cried, and prayed for this baby for y.e.a.r.s.
Each time a friend would get pregnant while we were trying to conceive I would feel joy for them, but not as much as the sadness I felt for myself. Believe me when I say I felt like everyone I knew was getting pregnant. I felt broken. I didn’t understand why things weren’t working according to my plan.
In God’s time, friends would gently remind me. Yes, I knew it would happen in His time. That didn’t make it any easier.

Even though we had tried for years to conceive another child, when I got the positive pregnancy test,
there was a thought in my mind. It was a thought so strong and so deep that at time, it was debilitating. It was an intense thought of what if something goes wrong.
What if merely getting pregnant again was enough to kill me, what if something happened to my unborn child. What if she was handicap (don’t judge me), or still born. What if I died giving birth.

There were days that I would lay on the couch sobbing because the fear was so overwhelming, and my hormones were raging.

Before I even knew I was pregnant I knew there would be something wrong in my next pregnancy, I knew that there was a chance I could lose my child or myself.
There weren’t any major medical reasons predicting that this might happen. But I felt a nudge from God to be prepared.

I guess I’m just trying to talk this all out so I can finally let my fear go and know that everything turned out okay. Whatever okay is.

My pregnancy was tough. It was really hard on me this time around, but the labor went quick and the delivery was over in a blink of an eye.
The delivery was so quick that I didn’t have time for the drugs that I had thought I wanted.
My mind was clear. I was right there. I felt every little pain and movement. I felt it all, and I took it all in. I knew exactly what was going on when my little girl came into this world.
I didn’t experience that the last time that I gave birth I was too uneducated, doped up, and didn’t have a clue which way was up.
This time as my daughter entered into this earth I took a look at her. She was blue. I was prepared for the worst. I took a deep breath. I looked across the room and saw a nurse give me a soft, sweet smile. She was familiar, I thought she was my angel, coming to take me to meet my creator. My mind was so free, and I was thinking so fast. Everything was so fast.
I took another breath, and so did she. My baby that is. My baby breathed, screamed, and her color came quickly. “Praise you, Jesus!”, I said out loud.
I didn’t realize just how a newborn looks hot off the press. My last baby was bathed, dressed, wrapped in a blanket and wearing a sweet little hat before I even remember really looking at him (we had a tough time, but that’s all in the past now).
My daughter was okay. I was okay. We lived!
That beautiful nurse handed me my baby girl and kindly asked “are you going to be nursing?”. I sheepishly replied, “I’d like to, but I don’t really know how”. She gave me that same sweet smile and put my baby to my breast. Instantly, I was feeding my baby. I felt total bliss.

Fast forward a couple months. We did find out that our daughter has a heart defect. She has a problem with a valve and an artery. She is okay, but we don’t know if she will continue to be okay as her body grows. This tears me up inside.
Her cardiologist described it as a house getting bigger, but the door staying the same size. We love her with all our hearts, and we will keep on loving her. That, and pray, is all we can do. I believe in healing prayers. I believe that our daughter will be healed. I’m not frantic feeling, or angry with God for my daughter having this problem. He prepared me to know something was coming. Of course I wish it weren’t this way. But don’t we all have something about us that isn’t perfect? 😉 And we’re all, okay.

My daughter’s name is Grayson. She was named before she was conceived, because I knew, that through this all, I would need to be reminded to have GRACE.

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